Proposal

“I’ve been thinking,” Martin said, spreading low-fat margarine over his toasted bagel. “We should get married.”

Charlie lowered his newspaper, looked at Martin over the top of his reading glasses. “What?”

“You heard me.”

“No.” Charlie went back to reading his paper.

“No, you didn’t hear me or no, you don’t want to get married?” Martin asked, grimacing as he bit into his bagel. It wasn’t the same without cream cheese and jam.

Charlie’s head popped over the paper again. “What’s the matter with you?”

“Nothing, I want to get married.” Martin said, setting his bagel down and picking up his coffee.

Charlie flapped the newspaper pages, but he didn’t look up. “No, you don’t.”

Martin snorted. “You mean you don’t.”

“Don’t tell me what I mean, you know I hate that.”

“Why? You tell me what I think.” Martin popped the last piece of bagel into his mouth and dusted toast crumbs off his fingers.

Charlie folded his newspaper, pushed away from the table. Thirty years with Martin had taught him when to retreat. “I’m off to the gym.”

“I don’t know why you bother going. It’s not like you actually work out,” Martin said, getting up to slot his breakfast plate into the dishwasher.

“Should have thought that was obvious,” Charlie said, rounding the kitchen table, and pinning Martin to the counter. “I go to get away from you.”

Laughter spilling into Martin’s face, he slipped Charlie’s reading glasses off, and set them on the counter. “Get out of here, moron.”

At the kitchen door, Charlie turned back, raised an eyebrow at Martin. “You bought rings, didn’t you?”

“Thought you were leaving?” Martin asked, pouring himself a second cup of coffee.

“Ah, shit.” 

Martin sipped his coffee, heard the hangers clang in the hall closet as Charlie got his jacket. 

“No reception,” Charlie called down the hallway to the kitchen, closing the front door behind him.

Ever the romantic, his Charlie.

Aimer at Amazon

 

Advertisements

New Year, New Walmart

I’m not a Walmart fan. Like all the Big Box stores, Walmart is an ugly, cavernous space that makes me feel grungy just walking through the doors, but ―

No standing in line at the check-out? By-passing the cashiers all together?

Sign me up!

App installed, phone in hand, I can Scan and Go. Literally. Just grab, scan, and go.

Okay, yes, you have to show your receipt to a staff member on the way out of the store, Walmart’s not insane, but still … virtually painless.

And addicting.

For the convenience of never having to go through a check-out, I can ignore the dismal decor and the soul-crushing ambiance for the time it takes me to find detergent and get the hell out of there.

In case you can’t tell, I love the app. It’s magic. Every store should have one, but —

It hasn’t escaped my notice that the app and I are doing all the work the cashiers used to do. I can see why Walmart is pushing this venture into self-serve.

Some people are concerned that eventually cashiers will be out of a job, but releasing the staff to roam the store helping customers wouldn’t be a bad thing.

Now, if they could just make the store a little more visually appealing …

Aimer at Amazon

 

Baby, It’s Cold Outside

It may be cold outside, but people are getting hot under the collar over a popular Christmas song.

Baby, It’s Cold Outside has been banned by several stations in the U.S. and Canada because the lyrics, according to some, encourage rape culture.

In 2018, when we’re trying to get the message across that NO MEANS NO lyrics like

I simply must go / The answer is no

do indeed send up a red flag, but…

This song was written in 1944 folks, and while I’m sure rape wasn’t unheard of back then, women couldn’t be upfront about what they wanted. Especially if what they wanted was sex.

The song is a vignette of an interaction between two people — coercion or collusion? I leave the interpretation to you.

As for me, I like Lady Gaga’s version 🙂

Aimer at Amazon

Gender Identity: Fake News?

Some members of the Ontario P.C. party think gender identity is an unscientific, Liberal ideology — in other words, fake news. They want the theory removed from the Ontario school curriculum.  To that end, the party has voted to debate the issue of Gender Identity at their next convention in 2019.

Seriously?

Are they going to debate the theory that the earth is round? That gravity exists?

Could someone please inform the Conservative Party members that we are more than what lies between our legs?

Can we focus on the person, not the sex?

Can we let people be who they are, the person inside their bodies?

A binary world is for code and computers, not people. Real life, despite what the social conservatives would have us believe, is a little more complex than that. And a lot more interesting.

Proof positive? Exhibit A: Ezra Miller’s Playboy shoot.

The defense rests.

Aimer at Amazon

First Snow

Remember when piles of white stuff on the ground made you smile, back before snow became a four-letter word?  Before the frozen crystals meant winter tires, and icy streets, and double the commute home.

Remember snow angels, and winter forts, and snowball fights?

Most of us growing up in the Great White North don’t remember our first snowfall because snow just is. A part of life, it arrives every year whether you want it to or not.

Newcomers to Canada though, aren’t so blasé about the white stuff.
first snow

These two children, newly arrived from a refugee camp in Sudan, couldn’t be happier with the fat flakes falling out of the sky.

Watching them, I can almost … almost be happy about winter 🙂

Aimer at Amazon

 

Impulse Buys

Ads pop up on my laptop, emails scream sale price at me, and Amazon and I have a one-click-to-buy relationship. Shopping 24/7, the ultimate consumer dream, brought to you by the good folks at the internet.

I’m ancient enough to remember how excited we all were when stores were first allowed to open on Sundays, but now…

Who needs store hours when you can buy stuff while sitting in your bathtub?

Most of the time, I’m good at reigning in the impulse buying. I don’t order from the Shopping Network, I ignore the ads for creams that claim to be better than face-lifts, and I consider things like currency exchange, custom fees, and delivery charges before pulling out my credit card.

Usually.

There have been times though…

There are two red-velvet covered 1907 theatre seats from the Royal Alexandra Theatre  sitting in my basement gathering dust because I read an email at 5 A.M. after a sleepless night. I thought they’d look great in my living room. They don’t.

Which is not to say that all online purchases are a mistake…

Two years ago, when he was 12 years old, Louis Bilodeau bought a flock of sheep on Kijiji.

Now at 14, he’s a sheep farmer, a high school student, and the lamb supplier to a Montreal restaurant.

He even has a dish named in his honour, Méchoui fumé de Louis.

Obviously, Louis is a smarter shopper than I am 🙂

Aimer at Amazon

 

Bohemian Rhapsody

True story: A while back there was an entry on my Visa bill I didn’t recognize. Wracked my brain. Nothing. I couldn’t think of what this charge could be — Queen? Not any store I’d ever heard of.

I called Visa and was asked if perhaps I’d purchased concert tickets … Colour me embarrassed.

I had bought tickets — to see Adam Lambert. Okay, yes, I vaguely remembered he was bringing some people called Queen with him, but who knew the concert was actually titled Queen + Adam Lambert?

Everyone 🙂

I’m not a rock band enthusiast, but you probably figured that out by now 🙂

I have never once bought any song Queen ever recorded, but that changed today.

Why?

I saw Bohemian Rhapsody — Twice.

Aimer at Amazon

 

 

Hockey, Eh?

You’re thinking the NHL,  or the local arena where you drink coffee early on a Saturday morning while your kids race after the puck.

Uh, yeah, but I’m thinking Kenya.

As in the Kenya Ice Lions. You know the guys from Africa? The ones who taught themselves to skate on the only ice in the whole country. The guys who don’t have a goalie or anyone to play against.

Well, we can’t have that. Can we, Canada?

No, we can’t.

So Tim Hortons did something about it. They flew the twelve member Kenya Ice Lions to Toronto to play a friendly game against the Mississauga Firefighters.

Kenya 1

Two Canadian NHL players, Sidney Crosby and Nathan MacKinnon, showed up to help out.

And they weren’t the only ones who wanted to help the Ice Lions get a game in. Gary Mercer, the owner of a Toronto trucking company, pulled friends and family together, found a goalie (his son) for the Ice Lions, a rink in Etobicoke, and a referee.

As Gary says, “We take it for granted here, that you can grab a stick, find some ice, and play a game, but that’s not the always the case in other countries.”

True, and enough to make any Canadian weep.

Benard Azegere, Captain of the Ice Lions, is dreaming big. With the help of a Tim Hortons donation to fund a youth hockey league and new equipment from CCM, he’s thinking Olympics. “It may not happen this year, next year, but trust me, one day, … Kenya will play in the Olympics.”

hockey 2

And you thought we just exported wheat 🙂

Aimer at Amazon