Burial Chic

Fashion is no longer just for the living.

If you can’t find a coffin that expresses the complexity of you, consider the Infinity Burial Suit. Created by Jae Rhim Lee and Mike Ma it’s the latest in eco-friendly, post-mortem fashion.

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It’s not only chic, it’s good for the environment. It helps your body to decompose and neutralizes the toxins the body releases into the earth. Plus …

You can never go wrong with basic black 🙂

 

As to how it works, the suit is embroidered with thread infused with mushroom spores that grow from the body after burial. Essentially, the mushrooms eat you.

Now would be a good time to mention — I don’t like mushrooms.

Don’t like the texture, don’t like the not-taste. Might as well eat Tofu, which BTW, I don’t eat either 🙂

It didn’t help my hate affair with mushrooms any that, even though I was a Psychology major back in my university days, I was dumb enough to take a Mycology course because I thought it would be cute to share a class with my boyfriend.

Ugh.

The labs were torture. The professor cooked up a batch of mushrooms on a hot plate in the classroom. Even worse, I got a B and my boyfriend got an A!

So yeah, fry mushrooms in butter, drop them into a pasta sauce, do whatever you want with them, but … keep them off my plate.

I’m not eating them, but I could be persuaded to let them eat me 🙂

Aimer at Amazon

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

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To Serve and Protect

This past April, an Ontario woman was stopped for speeding in Georgia. It happens, right?

You know the routine, you drag your license and registration out, the cop writes you a ticket.

Not in Georgia, not if you have a Canadian driver’s license. The 27 year old grad student was told her license was invalid. She was handcuffed and ended up in jail. Mug shots, fingerprints, scary stuff.

The article I read had over 1700 comments. Quite a few people felt the woman should have had her passport with her. Apparently, having copies of her passport, birth certificate, and Nexus card on her phone wasn’t good enough. Some felt that she should have had a Tennessee license since she was living there while going to school. One comment said that particular area of Georgia was known for “financing their counties through bogus charges and fines.”

Whether you think the cop was right or wrong probably depends on which side of the border you live on, but the report got me to thinking…

I’ve been stopped for speeding more times than my husband appreciated. Never once was an officer less than polite. Most were friendly, and a few had a sense of humour. I’m certain they would be just as professional if I was holding a Non-Canadian license.

To every police officer in my neck of the woods; Toronto Police, York Region Police, Ontario Provincial Police, and the Quebec Provincial Police I want to say thank you 🙂

The next time I’m in the States? Uber.

Aimer at Amazon

 

 

 

 

Land of Weird: Episode 3

Weird may be a bit harsh, let’s go with different.

Prince Edward Island, home of red-sand beaches, lighthouses and lobsters is embracing the different with a new competitive spectator sport — Lobster Trap Stacking.

Huh?

Competitors carry 15 lobster traps that weigh 41 kilograms (90 pounds) for a distance of nine metres (30 feet) and stack them five tiers high.

lobster-traps-on-p-e-iAll competitors must supply their own gloves and safety boots. The winner is chosen based on speed and the neatness of their stacking. Top prize is  $1,000.

Personally, my idea of a summer spectator sport is sitting at an outdoor cafe, sipping a latte and watching all the beautiful people that seem to emerge with the sunshine, but …

If you happen to be in P.E.I. on July 12th this summer, stop by the Summerside Lobster Carnival and cheer on the trappers 🙂

Aimer at Amazon

 

No Escape

We started with one Google Home (voice activated smart speaker) downstairs in the kitchen, but then, of course, we needed one upstairs in the bedroom.  Fine, good, done.

Uh …

I got tired of certain people, okay one person in particular, raising the volume of the speaker in the kitchen so he could hear it in the family room. Because watching one hockey, football, basketball game wasn’t enough, he had to know the scores of all the other games.

Okay, a Google Mini for the family room. Fortunately, they were on sale. Done.

Uh …

Another family member (looks an awful lot like me) couldn’t handle the crummy, staticky sound of the ancient radio in the washroom. And who wants to fiddle with a dial when you can say, “Okay, Google” ?

Now, we’ve got four of these things. We’re talking to Google more than we are to each other and everyone is happy.

Uh …

Last night, I’m at my laptop trying to get my WIP to actually progress — Google lights up. My husband’s voice comes out of the speaker. The Leafs are ahead four to three.

Did you know these speakers can double as an intercom system?

I didn’t. Neither did my husband until he had lunch with a techie friend yesterday. Said friend better not be showing up for dinner anytime soon.

Well past eleven last night, the house is quiet. I’m downstairs drinking tea and reading — Google lights up. My husband’s voice says, I can’t sleep alone.

Thanks to technology, no matter which room I’m in, no matter how many doors I close —

There is no escape 🙂

Aimer at Amazon

Been There, Done That.

Are there no original ideas out there anymore? Have we run out of talent? Does it all come down to money? Is it just too big a risk to step out of the tried and true box?

First, it was the movies. Churning out sequel after sequel, each one worse than the last… Pirates of the Caribbean, anyone?

Now television is getting into the act, bringing back shows that were great in their time, but now… not so much.

 

Full disclosure: I haven’t watched the new version of The X Files and only one episode of Roseanne.

Will & Grace? Let’s just say that if a power surge toasted my PVR and Will & Grace got lost in a digital black hole it wouldn’t ruin my night.

There are more of these Everything Old is New Again shows coming to a network near you next season. Do I care? Do you?

Netflix is on its way to dominating the industry because they go out on a limb and actually bring us new stuff.

 

A word to the television gods — revivals belong on Broadway.

But …

If you insist on polishing up the golden oldies, there’s a petition going around to bring back Queer As Folk.

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Now that I wouldn’t mind seeing again 🙂

Aimer at Amazon

 

Up, Up, and Away!

Tired of sitting in traffic on the Friday night drive up to cottage country? Bored with the same old all inclusive vacations?

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Looking for something a little more private?

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A little  more exotic?

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Maybe something out of this world?

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Orion Span has you covered.

For a mere $9.5 million U.S. you can enjoy a 12 day vacation at their luxury space station hotel.

space station

Want to float in zero gravity, fly over your home town, see 16 sunrises and sunsets in one day?

No problem. Cough up the $80,000 down payment to reserve you place and in 2021 the Aurora Station will welcome you to your new home away from home. (Single occupancy, space launch included.)

Bon Voyage 🙂

Aimer at Amazon

 

 

 

Wouldn’t Happen to a Guy

Last summer. Sun in the sky, top down on the car, a friend I hadn’t seen in far too long sitting in the passenger seat. A perfect day —

Random warning light on the dashboard. Dead car. Mystery message staring up at me from behind the steering wheel. Words, not icons. Even I knew that wasn’t good.

“No Key in Vehicle.”

What???

I’d been driving for half an hour, what do you mean, there’s no key in the car?

Frantic search, my bag, the seats, the floor, the glove compartment, the armrest — no key.

The rep at the car dealership was incredibly helpful, “Yeah, that’s weird.”

CAA couldn’t get my car on the tow truck. They searched YouTube, dug under the gear shift, opened the trunk, closed trunk.

My friend leaned into me, “I think I saw something.”

Yep. The key was in the trunk.

Apparently, I’d been driving around for days with the key in the trunk instead of in my bag. Who knew?

The car drove just fine until I took a roundabout. The key banged about inside the trunk, slid out of sensor range — warning light, mystery message, car that refused to go anywhere.

Naturally, I felt like the world’s biggest moron, but in my own defense neither the guy at the car dealership nor the one who showed up with the tow truck figured it out either. I mean, my car told me there was No Key in Vehicle. You’d think she’d know.

On the way home that night, it occurred to me — This would never have happened to a guy.

Why?

Because guys have pockets.

 

They have pockets in everything, their pants, their shirts, their jackets. They have exterior pockets and interior pockets.

Sure, men can cart around a backpack, a computer case, a cute little leather clutch, but — their keys are in their pocket.

Not in the trunk of the car.

Aimer at Amazon

Hello, Straight People;

You don’t exist.

Yeah, yeah, I know. You think you’re straight. You know you’re straight. You can prove you’re straight, just ask anyone in your contact list, or text your current partner, or check out your Instagram account.

Hey, you don’t have to prove anything to me. I don’t care one way or the other and — and neither should you.

Sexuality isn’t one or the other. It’s a complex, complicated, driven by external stimuli and internal interpretation, everything-but-the-kitchen-sink kind of thing.

Who says 100% straight doesn’t exist? That would be Ritch C. Savin-Williams, Director of the Sex and Gender Lab at Cornell University.

In an effort to get at the core of who people really are, as opposed to who they have been socialized to say they are, Savin-Williams conducted a study using pupil dilation to monitor arousal.

You, me, the guy with the laptop hogging the best seat at your local Starbucks; none of us can control our pupil dilation. Can’t be done. Can’t be faked, but it can be measured.

Results? No matter how a person self-identified their eyes dilated when they were shown sexual images of both genders.

A little more dilation here, a little less dilation there, but still a definite physiological response.

Conclusion? Sexuality is not binary, it’s a continuum.

Sorry, you’re only mostly straight 🙂

Aimer at Amazon

Google Nights

It was a joke.

On my way between the covers last night, I told our Google Home Assistant to turn off the bedroom lamp. Which, of course, she did.

Google’s still a she at our place because the option to choose a male voice isn’t available in Canada yet. As soon as it is, I’m switching that sucker to he. Ideally, a he with a non-Canadian accent.

How amazing would that be? A deep voice with a sexy accent reminding me that I had a 2 P.M. dentist appointment — I might even keep the appointment 🙂

Where was I?

Right, last night.

Lamp goes off, I snuggle into my pillow and on a whim I said, “Okay, Google. Goodnight.”

and Holy Crap!

Google said, “Good Night, Aimer.”

I cracked up laughing and then, of course, I had to do it again because — this piece of silver mesh and plastic was talking to me.

Sci-fi writers have been publishing books about humans falling for their robots for years now — I’m thinking dress Google up, slap an accent on him …

Google robot (2)

His name is Nigel 🙂

Aimer at Amazon