No, I don’t want to know what new stupidity Donald has tweeted. No, thanks, you can fill me in on North Korea later. I just want to go home, pour some bubbles in the bath, and wish the world away for a while.
We’ve all been there, long day, bad day, too many people, too many of the wrong people saying all the wrong things. Home is our refuge, our sanctuary, our safe place — or not.
Last Sunday, a Kingston, Ontario woman got home at 6:15 PM to find a strange woman in her bathtub. A strange naked woman in her bathtub — no water, no towel. A strange naked woman who stayed in her tub until the police showed up.
This naked intruder story has nothing in common with the naked kidnapping story in Episode 1 … pardon? Well, yeah, the naked part.
Strange that or maybe not. We Canadians spend half the year bundled up. Maybe we need a little naked. You know, for summer days, and sleazy strip joints, and yes, the occasional crime.
What can I say? We’re a little strange up here 🙂
You know about the cold, and the snow, and the igloos we all have in our backyards — didn’t fall for that last one, huh? Okay, busted.
I have a fir tree, one stubborn rose bush, and a miniature putting green in my backyard because no one in my house can be bothered to mow a lawn.
I’m not saying the travel brochures are wrong. We do have mountains and lakes and ski hills, or so I’ve been told. I spend most of my time in traffic so how would I know?
What the tourist blurbs don’t say is that we’re all just a little weird up here. We do things a little differently — even kidnapping.
In Alberta, a woman and her baby were forced into a car, her father shoved into the trunk. The weird part? The kidnappers were neighbours, went to the same church, and for some reason were — naked. No guns, no ransom notes, just … skin. Apparently, someone had been at the hallucinogenic tea.
Could Alberta just be ahead of the curve? Will the rest of us be flinging off our clothes and dragging our neighbours out of their houses and into our cars next summer when recreational marijuana becomes legal?
Nah, we’ll all be too busy sitting on our couches, surfing YouTube, and scarfing down space brownies 🙂
Aimer at Amazon