Small, Smaller, Smallest

Humans are fascinated by the rare, the strange, and the extreme. The tallest man, the oldest woman, the largest pumpkin. Add the suffix est and you can sell tickets.

Personally, and probably because I’m knee high to a grasshopper myself, I like small. Miniature shoes, tea cups, Disney’s Tinker Bell. Shrink anything down small enough and it’s adorable.

Almost anything.

A German-Madagascan expedition team has discovered what they believe to be the smallest reptile on earth. The Brookesia Nana or nano-chameleon’s total length, from nose to tail, is just under 22 mm (0.87 “).

Tiny, yes, but cute? Not so much.

Frank Glaw

Nothing like this guy…

geico.com

Now, that’s adorable. For a lizard.

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Covid 2.0

Here we are, living the sequel to a movie we never wanted to be in.

Covid 2.0

Social distancing, masks, quarantines, lockdowns, not to mention the parents battling with online learning, the people forced into unemployment, the gruesome ICU statistics, and the ever present threat of contracting this nasty little virus.

Yeah, fun times. Now, imagine this…

Imagine living through a pandemic, not once, but twice.

Born in 1911, in Lauder, Manitoba, Jemima Westcott was seven years old when the Spanish Flu struck in 1918. There was no social distancing back then, no vaccine, and the schools stayed open. Jemima remembers having to douse her handkerchief in eucalyptus oil which was thought to be both a preventative and a cure. 55,000 Canadians lost their lives to that plague, but Jemima’s family and their farming community escaped the worst of it.

Last Sunday, on January 10th, Jemima celebrated her 110th birthday, making her Manitoba’s oldest resident and one of Canada’s supercentenarians.

Jemima with her granddaughter, Raunora. (submitted by Raunora Westcott)

A retired teacher, mother to five, and grandmother to fifteen, Jemima is once again waiting out a pandemic. To keep in touch with the family who can’t visit now, Jemima has learned to make video calls.

Jemima’s advice for a long life?

“Be yourself, and enjoy it.”

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Mr. Perfect

Bitmoji Image

Don’t tell anyone, but my husband is better at Covid than I am.

I reach for a cookie, he does sit-ups. I bake brownies, he gets on the treadmill. I veg out in front of the television, and he’s downstairs practicing his golf swing.

I get bored, and eat. He gets bored, and cranks out a set of push-ups.

After almost a year of sheltering in place, I’m a mess, and he’s in better shape than ever.

Freaking annoying!

Can you divorce someone for being perfect?

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2021

Brand new year, same crap virus.

Photo by Anna Shvets on Pexels.com

Just to keep it interesting, Covid-19 has come up with a few new variations. And here we are, hunkering down for another winter of lockdown, Zoom, and Netflix.

Into a sadly distanced holiday season, Netflix dropped a champagne glass bubbling over with cheer. Death to 2020, a British mockumentary from the creative minds behind Black Mirror, had me laughing out loud.

In a year that bounced from frightening to bizzare and back again, Charlie Brooker and Annabel Jones have managed to find the funny. Find it, dissect it, and serve it up on a platter—proving that laughter is the best medicine.

If you’re feeling a little lost and low, now that the gifts have been opened, the balls have dropped, and the fireworks are over, check out Death to 2020. It injects humour into a year that desperately needed it.

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2020

In what may be the picture that best encapsulates the whole depressing year, @gregorycochrane gives us this haunting image of a dining dome floating in Lake Ontario…

@gregorycochrane

Until this pandemic invaded our lives, I’d never even heard of a dining dome. Sign of the times.

Bitter winds chased this particular plastic bubble into the November cold lake, where it danced above the grey, freezing waves and promptly sank beneath them.

This nightmare we call 2020 is sinking into the past, and with a vaccine on the horizon, here’s hoping for a better, safer 2021.

I’ll be taking a break this December, hunkering down in my robe, watching Netflix inside and the snow falling outside.

Happy Holidays. Happy New Year.

See you here in 2021, same Bat Time, same Bat Channel 🙂

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Pod People

Cars, buses, trains—gone.

Okay, they’re still here, but not for long.

Virgin Hyperloop wants to get you there—anywhere, everywhere—faster, much faster. From Gatwick to Heathrow in four minutes, from Dubai to Abu Dhabi in twelve. That kind of faster.

How?

No problem. They’ll just pop you into a pod inside a vacuum tube, and blast away at 1000 km/h.

Virgin Hyperloop

A futuristic transport system? Definitely, but the future is closer than you think.

Virgin Hyperloop has completed its first passenger journey. Meet Sara Luchian and Josh Giegel—pod people.

To quote Sara, “It’s an exhilarating ride.” Smooth with no roller-coaster effects, meaning neither she nor Josh got sick. Good to know.

One not so small problem?

The vacuum tube sits on a track. Space has to be found and tracks have to be built for each trip. Lots and lots of track.

Virgin Hyperloop

You didn’t think the future would be easy, did you?

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No Excuse

It’s no secret I have an on again, off again relationship with exercise. Mostly off these days.

I have no excuse, not with Covid still lurking about. It’s not like I’m going anywhere.

As an official senior citizen, with a cheque from the federal government to prove it, I’d like to claim age as an excuse, but that’s BS and Bill Mason knows it.

Bill is 96 years old. He’s recovering from a stroke he had two years ago—and he works out twice a week.

Sarah Keaveny Vos/CBC

On a suggestion from his grandson,

Sarah Keaveny Vos/CBC

Bill decided to try a Crossfit class for seniors. He celebrated his 96th birthday by doing a series of deadlifts, sit-ups, push-ups, and a 200-metre row.

See what I mean? No excuse.

Monday, first thing.

Heard that before, huh? Yeah, me too 😦

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Ghostbusters?

Covid-19 has changed everything and Halloween is no exception. The scattering of houses in our neighbourhood dressed for the ghoulish holiday won’t be handing out candy. Not this year.

Kids are still buying costumes, but they won’t be roaming the streets. Pumpkins, candy apples, and ghost stories will be shared among bubble members in numbers of ten or less.

No parades of miniature Darth Vaders, but if you happen to be in Edmonton come October 31, you might find an unusual funeral procession winding its way through the streets.

No dearly departed, no cemetery visits, just a bunch of car enthusiasts celebrating the Halloween with a display of their favourite rides—hearses.

Robb Eggertson

Who you gonna call?

Robb Eggertson, founder of the the Edmonton Bone-Wagon Association, 460 members strong. Their usual parking lot meet-and-greet being a bad idea this year, they’ve decided to share the fun—and their vintage vehicles.

Ghostbuster decals optional 🙂

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Good Intentions

Photo by William Choquette on Pexels.com

Good intentions might, or might not, pave the road to hell, but they don’t take you one metre down the path to a happier number on the scale.

Not when your jog around the track at the park ends up at the local Dairy Queen and your fifteen minute stint on the rowing machine has you pawing through the freezer for that ice cream sandwich you swore you weren’t going to eat.

If only all it took to fit into your thin clothes were good intentions, but I hear it takes something called discipline.

Something I don’t have 🙂

Photo by Karolina Grabowska on Pexels.com

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Excuse me, but…

To paraphrase Jeff Foxworthy, you know you’re old when—

1. You’ve never heard of half the shows nominated at the Emmys.

2. You sit down to put your shoes on.

3. You think TikTok is a new clock.

4. You remember when Amazon only sold books.

5. You’re phone takes you aside, and says, “Look, we’re really sorry. We know you’re one of the dinosaurs who still buys music on Google Play, but we’re switching over to YouTube music.” And you say, “YouTube has music?”

Excuse me, but—I’m old.

pinterest.com

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