Excuse me, but…

To paraphrase Jeff Foxworthy, you know you’re old when—

1. You’ve never heard of half the shows nominated at the Emmys.

2. You sit down to put your shoes on.

3. You think TikTok is a new clock.

4. You remember when Amazon only sold books.

5. You’re phone takes you aside, and says, “Look, we’re really sorry. We know you’re one of the dinosaurs who still buys music on Google Play, but we’re switching over to YouTube music.” And you say, “YouTube has music?”

Excuse me, but—I’m old.

pinterest.com

Aimer at Amazon

Lucifer

Tom Ellis has been working the British accent and devilish charm for five seasons now. As Lucifer Morningstar, he takes us into a world where the Devil is real—and runs a club in L.A.

In the tradition of Death Takes a Holiday and Meet Joe Black, the Devil is on vacation. As one would expect, he’s keen on all the things our mothers warned us about, liquor, drugs, and sex in all its many incarnations.

Unexpectedly, this Devil wears a three-piece suit, plays the piano, and has daddy issues. The ruler of hell spends his time solving crimes with an LAPD detective and chatting with his therapist—when he’s not otherwise engaged.

According to this Lucifer, hell is fueled by guilt. Humans torturing themselves in endless loops of their worst sins. No brimstone and fire, just people blaming themselves for eternity.

Damnation based on human psychology; I like it. That’s why I watch the show. Absolutely nothing to do with the fact that the devil looks like this…

Aimer at Amazon

Life’s Mysteries

I’m not talking major unanswered questions here, no whatever happened to Amelia Earhart, or what’s with the Bermuda Triangle, or has Elvis really left the building? No, I’m thinking small scale.

Life’s little mysteries, the everyday perplexities that have us standing, and staring, and thinking what?

Take lids, for example…

Each lid has a corresponding container. They are a matched set, they go into the kitchen cupboard together. How is it then, that I found myself with four lonely lids on my hands this morning—and no equally lonely containers?

Did the containers grow bored with their partners, become disenchanted with the old ball and lid? Are they off somewhere, smiling at the newer, younger lids popping up on their dating app?

And what about socks?

How do they go into the laundry as a pair and come out as single? Do they argue in the washer, get divorced in the dryer?

Life’s little mysteries 🙂

Aimer at Amazon

Star Trek Calling

With Covid-19 rewriting how we live our lives, Earth isn’t looking so appealing these days. When a trip to the grocery store means wearing a mask and keeping an eye out for inconsiderate bozos threatening your two metre bubble, we’re all looking to escape. Escape the virus, each other, and the monotony of not being able to do—anything.

Travel is out of the question. Even if you wanted to risk all the possible free-floating germs on a flight, where would you go? Covid is everywhere—almost everywhere.

SpaceX Dragon docked at the International Space station.

The International Space station is Coronavirus-free and Elon Musk has a plan to get you there.

SpaceX, Musk’s company, is sending up it’s second crewed Dragon flight at the end of the month. Four astronauts will stay on the Space station for six months. By the fall of 2021, when hopefully, anti-Covid vaccines will be making their way around the world, three lucky customers will be settling in at the International Space station.

For a mere $55 million, you too, can enjoy the vacation of a lifetime, and return home to this welcome from mission control…

“Welcome back to planet Earth and thanks for flying SpaceX.”

Aimer at Amazon

Mask Me

caitlinpower.com

Masks are not only giving the Coronavirus a one-two punch, they’re saving the economy.

Who would have guessed that a scrap of cloth would pour $130 million into the Gap’s bottom line? That designers like Rag & Bone and Prabal Gurung would be knocking out these little beauties at $55 a pop? That you’d get stopped on the street and asked where you got your mask from?

Really?

Yes. Like the virus, masks are here to stay. From bizarre affectation to fashion statement in six months. A testament to the adaptability of human beings—and online shopping.

What began as a desperate defence against the newest plague has become a means of personal expression.

Reuters.com

In my own fight against the Coronavirus, I may have bought a few too many masks. Masks in colours I’m never going to wear. Plum? What?

As fashion accessories go, masks are relatively inexpensive. Even more so if can make your own. If you’re better with a keyboard than a needle, you can enjoy guilt-free shopping. You’re not just adding to your wardrobe, you’re saving the planet.

thequardian.com

Covid can’t kill style 🙂

Aimer at Amazon

Happy Accidents

We’ve all experienced them. Your boyfriend dumps you just before your high school grad dance and you end up going with a friend’s ex who looks way better in a tux anyway, or you take the wrong turn off the highway and land at a truckstop to find the best breakfast you’ve ever eaten.

No? Maybe that’s just me, but…

Mistakes happen and every once in awhile life’s little glitches lead to a greater good. Just ask anyone in Olten, Switzerland.

A mishap with the ventilation system at the local Lindt factory blew a fine chocolate dust over the neighbourhood. Residents woke up to find chocolate snow. Now, that’s a mistake I could live with 🙂

In Toronto, a glitch on the LCBO’s website got Mohammed Asaduallah 24 bottles of red wine for—FREE.

Don’t all rush to your laptops, the glitch has been fixed, but Mohammed’s still smiling.

Happy accidents 🙂

Aimer at Amazon

Making it Work

Here in my corner of the world, life is getting back to normal. The new normal that is, where everyone is expected to wear a mask and keep their distance.

Full disclosure: I have not done well with the lockdown. There have been an embarrassing number of days where I never bothered to get out of my robe. My treadmill is covered in dust, my WIP is still an idle thought, and I have eaten my weight in Oreo cookies.

Melva Cormier, a 92-year-old from Rustico, Prince Edward Island puts me to shame. Stuck at home during the pandemic, the great-great grandmother made productive use of her time knitting 60 pairs of hats and mitts for the newborns at Queen Elizabeth Hospital.

Melva Cormier cbc.ca

And then, there’s Isaac Young, a 15-year-old from Arnprior, Ontario. Unable to find a summer job thanks to Covid-19, Isaac started his own business—Backyard Builder.

Isaac Young CTV News Ottawa

Isaac makes picnic tables, sandboxes, and garden planters. He’s thinking of branching out into toy boxes come the winter season.

Me?

I may dust off the treadmill…or not.

Aimer at Amazon

Boat-in?

Remember the joy of watching a movie through the space between the two front seats of the family car? Standing in line for popcorn with a bunch of kids wearing pajamas? Being envious of the people who were smart enough to bring lawn chairs?

Ah, the good old days. Gone, but not—say what?

Yes, drive-ins are back.

Covid-19 has accomplished the impossible, rewound the clock. With the Cineplexes shutdown and social distancing the new watchword, cinema lovers are heading out to the nearest field or empty parking lot.

Granted, the rules are a little different these days. You have to bring your own popcorn and don’t even think about getting out of your car. Still, you’ve got the mega screen in front of you, the starlit sky above, and your nearest and dearest in the car with you—bubble members only, please.

Don’t have a car? No problem.

“When in Rome…”

Or, in this case, Venice…

Who needs a car when you have a gondola?

Aimer at Amazon

Where There’s a Will…

The Canada-U.S. border hasn’t been shut down since the War of 1812, but it’s shut now. Thank you, Covid-19.

This unprecedented closure put a serious dent in Kadee and Jaxson’s wedding plans. With Kadee’s family in Montana and Jaxson’s family in Alberta, there was no way both families could celebrate together—under one roof.

But who needs a roof?

Under a blue prairie sky, with their families on either side of the barbed-wire border line, Kadee and Jaxson tied the knot.

Where there’s a will—and some understanding border guards—there’s a way.

Aimer at Amazon

No Man is an Island…

Maybe not, but then, John Donne never lived through Covid-19. In 2020, we’re all bobbing corks in a sea of germs, desperately trying to steer clear of each other.

As the world pries open the prison doors, nothing looks the same as it did before…

Like this young woman at La Grande Motte in France, you may have to reserve your spot on the sand this summer.

Dining out? How do you feel about a romantic dinner for one?

At Bord För En, you have a Swedish meadow to yourself. The food comes to you on a pulley, no humans anywhere in sight. Rasmus Persson and Linda Karlsson’s restaurant, 350 kilometres from Stockholm, is a Coronavirus-free zone.

Sweden a little far for dinner? What about Virginia? Patrick O’Connell, chef and owner of The Inn at Little Washington has come up with an imaginative solution to the empty table syndrome social distancing rules demand—mannequins.

Okay, your fellow dinners are made out of fiberglass and plastic, but they’re quiet, and they’re not contagious 🙂

Aimer at Amazon