Land of Weird: Episode 1

You know about the cold, and the snow, and the igloos we all have in our backyards — didn’t fall for that last one, huh? Okay, busted.

I have a fir tree, one stubborn rose bush, and a miniature putting green in my backyard because no one in my house can be bothered to mow a lawn.

I’m not saying the travel brochures are wrong. We do have mountains and lakes and ski hills, or so I’ve been told. I spend most of my time in traffic so how would I know?

What the tourist blurbs don’t say is that we’re all just a little weird up here. We do things a little differently — even kidnapping.

In Alberta, a woman and her baby were forced into a car, her father shoved into the trunk. The weird part? The kidnappers were neighbours, went to the same church, and for some reason were — naked. No guns, no ransom notes, just … skin. Apparently, someone had been at the hallucinogenic tea.

Could Alberta just be ahead of the curve? Will the rest of us be flinging off our clothes and dragging our neighbours out of their houses and into our cars next summer when recreational marijuana becomes legal?

Nah, we’ll all be too busy sitting on our couches, surfing YouTube, and scarfing down space brownies 🙂

Aimer at Amazon

 

 

 

 

 

Advertisements

Cyber Cuddles

This is Charlie. He’s friendly and playful and he never has to go to the vet.

He wriggles and purrs, roars and wags his tail — affection for the price of four batteries.

Okay yes, he’s a toy. Does that matter if he makes you smile?

Charlie 2 (2)

Does it matter?

Now that our gadgets can talk to us, now that we have robots with artificial intelligence, now that sex dolls have a family mode and can interact with your kids …

Will the day come when we think that a relationship with an actual human being is too much trouble?

I’m pretty damn sure a robot would remember to buy milk. Just saying.

Aimer at Amazon

 

 

Advice For Young Men – 8 Tips for Not Behaving Like a Sexual Predator

If you are anywhere on the planet, you’ve heard the stream of sexual harrasment allegations blowing the lid off the movie industry.
Norm has a message for men everywhere and since he expresses that message far better than I ever could….
Here’s Norm :

Norm 2.0

For my newer followers my Advice for Young Men series usually pokes fun at the differences between men and women. You can read some previous installments here and here.

I’m overdue for a good rant though, so today’s post isn’t very funny. Then again, neither is the subject: sexual harassment and inappropriate sexual behavior by men.

Warning: If foul language offends you then I suggest you skip this post.

For everyone else, settle in for this listicle – 8 Tips for Not Behaving Like a Sexual Predator – sarcastically written specifically for guys who still don’t get it.

1. Learn how to hold your liquor.

Alcohol is often referred to as a great social lubricant. Yes it’s good for getting conversations flowing, but as someone who in his younger days once woke up with his winter boots and a parka on in a someone’s bathtub, I can confirm…

View original post 1,187 more words

Don’t talk to me

I don’t like to screw up. None of us do, but some people are smart about it. They shrug and learn and move on. Me? I get angry, mostly at myself. I whine and complain and want to drown myself. First child syndrome, it’s not pretty.

Because I live in fear of looking like an idiot, I don’t jump on new things quickly. It took me a while to wrap my head around it, but I talk to my phone now. Not on it, to it.

My car and I are real close, I’ve been talking to her for years. She’s really good with directions and she’s knows all my contact numbers.

As soon as the holidays roll around, the perfect time to load up on stuff you don’t need, I’ll be starting conversations with, “Ok, Google.” Apparently, smart speakers are well informed on current events and our taste in music.

It occurred to me yesterday as I chatted with my phone that I talk to a lot of gadgets, but people?

Hell no. That’s what texting is for  🙂

Aimer at Amazon

A Slow March Forward

According to a recent U.N. report, there is a global trend towards decriminalization of same-sex relations. Twenty-five countries in the last twenty years have repealed laws banning consensual gay sex. Five of them in the last five years.

Good news, yes … but …

France legalized homosexuality in 1791. 1791 ! Two hundred and twenty-six years ago. This is not a new idea, people. And yet, here we are in 2017 and there are still seventy-three nations where same-sex relations are illegal. Really?

Are we stubborn or stupid or both?  Yes.

It took the suffrage movement 118 years to work its way across the globe. From New Zealand, the first country to give women the vote in 1893, to Saudi Arabia where women were allowed to vote for the first time in 2011.

Homo Sapiens: We might walk on two feet, but we crawl toward equality — each and every time.

Aimer at Amazon

 

Good Enough

While on vacation, I bought a little leather-bound notebook. The leather was soft, the colour was rich, but it was the inscription on the cover that made the sale. It made me smile.

Book 4

Seriously? Incredible thoughts, brilliant mind? What can you possibly write in a journal with a title like that? Do people really go around thinking themselves brilliant? Not in my house, not if you want anyone to talk to you.

At first, I thought I’d leave the pages blank. You know, you open the book expecting brilliant and — nothing. Get it? No? Ah, well, seemed funny to me.

Then I thought I’d pop in a bunch of snarky quotes by Oscar Wilde, but these rough cut pages deserve calligraphy. My handwriting is not an art form.

Eventually as days, then weeks, went by and the journal sat there empty, it occurred to me that I was letting myself be intimidated by a bit of leather and a few embossed words. Ridiculous.

And yet … is that the reason why so few of us write. Do we intimidate ourselves out of even trying? Do we think that if we can’t write something brilliant that we shouldn’t write at all?

What’s wrong with just spilling out the thought in our head, getting it down on paper, seeing where it goes? Does it have to be brilliant?

Whatever we write, however well we write it, it’s ours. Shouldn’t that be good enough?

Book

Aimer at Amazon

 

 

Mind of Their Own

You’re the author, you’re in charge, right?  Uh … Not so much.

Yesterday, I sat down at my laptop. I knew exactly what I was going to write. Hotel room, two guys and a bed — yeah, you got it.

I get everyone naked, write in a toy or two and — Without even the courtesy of discussing it with me first, my characters totally change the scene. I’m typing, but they’re in charge. They’re taking the narrative to a place I’d never thought to go and it works. It more than works, it’s better than what I had planned for them.

My characters developed a mind of their own.

It doesn’t happen often, but when it does, what a rush!

I’m an amateur, but it seems to me that for a writer this is the zenith, the gold at the end of the rainbow — your creations writing their own story.

Of course, now I’ve got rewrites ahead of me because they’ve mucked things up a bit, but so totally worth it 🙂

Aimer at Amazon

 

Too Stupid for WordPress

I thought I was doing okay. With the help of friends like Hugh over at Hugh’s Views and News who has been kind enough to answer my tweets for help, I’ve muddled my way into a half-way decent blog. Or so I thought.

I was riding on a cloud of Me So Smart, until boom — the sky darkened and lightning knocked me on my ass.

Or, in words less theatric, I opened my blog from my phone and found that pictures were missing from some of my posts. I had no clue why. I had previewed the posts in question and the pictures were there. Now…gone! Urrgh! How had I screwed up?

You know this little screen, right?

Screenshot (12)

The WordPress media screen. It holds all the images you’ve added to your posts.

Sure, I know the screen, you know the screen, we all know the freaking screen. But …

Did you know that deleting pictures from this media screen also deletes them from your posts?

Of course you did — I didn’t.

Too stupid for WordPress 🙂

Aimer at Amazon