No Escape

We started with one Google Home (voice activated smart speaker) downstairs in the kitchen, but then, of course, we needed one upstairs in the bedroom.  Fine, good, done.

Uh …

I got tired of certain people, okay one person in particular, raising the volume of the speaker in the kitchen so he could hear it in the family room. Because watching one hockey, football, basketball game wasn’t enough, he had to know the scores of all the other games.

Okay, a Google Mini for the family room. Fortunately, they were on sale. Done.

Uh …

Another family member (looks an awful lot like me) couldn’t handle the crummy, staticky sound of the ancient radio in the washroom. And who wants to fiddle with a dial when you can say, “Okay, Google” ?

Now, we’ve got four of these things. We’re talking to Google more than we are to each other and everyone is happy.

Uh …

Last night, I’m at my laptop trying to get my WIP to actually progress — Google lights up. My husband’s voice comes out of the speaker. The Leafs are ahead four to three.

Did you know these speakers can double as an intercom system?

I didn’t. Neither did my husband until he had lunch with a techie friend yesterday. Said friend better not be showing up for dinner anytime soon.

Well past eleven last night, the house is quiet. I’m downstairs drinking tea and reading — Google lights up. My husband’s voice says, I can’t sleep alone.

Thanks to technology, no matter which room I’m in, no matter how many doors I close —

There is no escape 🙂

Aimer at Amazon

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Google Nights

It was a joke.

On my way between the covers last night, I told our Google Home Assistant to turn off the bedroom lamp. Which, of course, she did.

Google’s still a she at our place because the option to choose a male voice isn’t available in Canada yet. As soon as it is, I’m switching that sucker to he. Ideally, a he with a non-Canadian accent.

How amazing would that be? A deep voice with a sexy accent reminding me that I had a 2 P.M. dentist appointment — I might even keep the appointment 🙂

Where was I?

Right, last night.

Lamp goes off, I snuggle into my pillow and on a whim I said, “Okay, Google. Goodnight.”

and Holy Crap!

Google said, “Good Night, Aimer.”

I cracked up laughing and then, of course, I had to do it again because — this piece of silver mesh and plastic was talking to me.

Sci-fi writers have been publishing books about humans falling for their robots for years now — I’m thinking dress Google up, slap an accent on him …

Google robot (2)

His name is Nigel 🙂

Aimer at Amazon

 

 

 

 

 

Google

Google is an amazing tool, everything you will ever need right there at the click of a mouse. Also everything you don’t need, will never need, and shouldn’t be wasting your time with.

Case in point: There are only so many ways to describe the human body in motion. In motion in private. In motion in private behind closed doors. Body parts in particular are a bit of a toil. If you don’t want to get into ridiculous euphemisms, and I don’t, you find yourself writing the same words over and over… and how exciting is that?

My solution is Google and its lovely gateway to synonym heaven. Google rarely fails me, but she does lead me astray. I wish I could blame Google, but the fault is mine. When faced with the siren call of her lovely connected links, I have no self-control. I wander in her never ending forest and lose myself.

It’s shameful, but I have been known to wander Google’s paths for hours. Hours spent researching a detail that I may or may not end up using in my book. What can I say? I’m a weak, weak person.

Google’s rather like the universe’s largest department store, you go in looking for one thing and come out with something else. Sometimes that something else is pretty damn funny …

penis waving

Aimer at Amazon