Winter Wise

Your walkway is buried under two centimetres of ice, your driveway is a skating rink, and you’re holed up inside waiting for summer.

The snowplow cleared your street by depositing thirty centimetres of frozen slush at the end of your driveway, and you’re booking the first flight to Hawaii.

Endure or escape, those are your only options when Frosty the Ice Man stands in for Mother Nature — or are they?

Cory Hamilton in Saint John, New Brunswick thinks not.

To paraphrase the old proverb, When life hands you lemons… 

When Mother Nature throws down the ice, get your skates out 🙂

Aimer at Amazon

 

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No Escape

We started with one Google Home (voice activated smart speaker) downstairs in the kitchen, but then, of course, we needed one upstairs in the bedroom.  Fine, good, done.

Uh …

I got tired of certain people, okay one person in particular, raising the volume of the speaker in the kitchen so he could hear it in the family room. Because watching one hockey, football, basketball game wasn’t enough, he had to know the scores of all the other games.

Okay, a Google Mini for the family room. Fortunately, they were on sale. Done.

Uh …

Another family member (looks an awful lot like me) couldn’t handle the crummy, staticky sound of the ancient radio in the washroom. And who wants to fiddle with a dial when you can say, “Okay, Google” ?

Now, we’ve got four of these things. We’re talking to Google more than we are to each other and everyone is happy.

Uh …

Last night, I’m at my laptop trying to get my WIP to actually progress — Google lights up. My husband’s voice comes out of the speaker. The Leafs are ahead four to three.

Did you know these speakers can double as an intercom system?

I didn’t. Neither did my husband until he had lunch with a techie friend yesterday. Said friend better not be showing up for dinner anytime soon.

Well past eleven last night, the house is quiet. I’m downstairs drinking tea and reading — Google lights up. My husband’s voice says, I can’t sleep alone.

Thanks to technology, no matter which room I’m in, no matter how many doors I close —

There is no escape 🙂

Aimer at Amazon

Censorship: A Time Honoured Tradition

The ancient Greeks appreciated the human body for the gift that it is. The body was both natural and holy, a concept that didn’t translate well to the Christian world in the dark times of the Middle Ages. A succession of Popes, starting with Pope Paul IV felt that while man was an expression of God’s creation, there was no need for that expression to be anatomically correct.

Welcome to a period of prolific art desecration, a centuries long brutal and clumsy attempt at censorship. Goodbye genitalia and hello fig leaves.

Still today, the line between art and pornography is a blurry, wavy thing dictated by taste and culture. While the ethics of depicting the phallus itself change with the tides of time, phallic images have managed to escape the scourge of the censor. They pop out everywhere, impulsive and indiscrete, and often amusing. Freud was particularly fond of them but that’s a whole other post.

With phallic images, it’s not so much what you see but what you think you see.

Phallic images, like the phallus they represent, come in all shapes, sizes, and flavours.

From traditional
penis1

to whimsical
penis5

to artistic

penis3

 

Personally, I’ve always found that the space ship, Andromeda Ascendant from the television show Andromeda bears more than a vague resemblance to parts unmentionable …

penis4

or maybe that’s just me 🙂

Aimer at Amazon

Google

Google is an amazing tool, everything you will ever need right there at the click of a mouse. Also everything you don’t need, will never need, and shouldn’t be wasting your time with.

Case in point: There are only so many ways to describe the human body in motion. In motion in private. In motion in private behind closed doors. Body parts in particular are a bit of a toil. If you don’t want to get into ridiculous euphemisms, and I don’t, you find yourself writing the same words over and over… and how exciting is that?

My solution is Google and its lovely gateway to synonym heaven. Google rarely fails me, but she does lead me astray. I wish I could blame Google, but the fault is mine. When faced with the siren call of her lovely connected links, I have no self-control. I wander in her never ending forest and lose myself.

It’s shameful, but I have been known to wander Google’s paths for hours. Hours spent researching a detail that I may or may not end up using in my book. What can I say? I’m a weak, weak person.

Google’s rather like the universe’s largest department store, you go in looking for one thing and come out with something else. Sometimes that something else is pretty damn funny …

penis waving

Aimer at Amazon