A Love/Hate Thing

I hate writing, I love having written.” – Dorothy Parker 

I came across the above quote in a post by Whitney Carter and thought, Yes. Exactly!

Writing is torture. It’s staring at a blank screen and a keyboard full of letters until your brain melts and you head into the kitchen for sugar and caffeine. It’s squeezing those little grey cells until a word pops out … and then another and another. It’s checking your word count and wanting to cry.  It’s masochistic.

That’s writing, the process is excruciating, but … the product?

Yes, it can be total crap, but it’s your total crap. You did this. You wrestled the words into a thought. You agonized over character, plot, voice, point of view, and freaking punctuation.  You hit Google so many times your mouse needs a new battery, but you did it. You’re DiCaprio on the Titanic, arms spread shouting, “I Am The King of The World.”

Writers are schizophrenic. It’s a love/hate thing 🙂

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Real – ish

I’m a spectacular wimp when it comes to roller coaster rides. Not for me, hurtling down mountains of steel track, defying gravity and sanity. Nope, can’t do it. I’ll take my terror in a virtual format, please.

This past week, I climbed aboard my very own banshee and flew. 

small fly 1

Pandora spread out below me, friends flying beside me. A breath-stealing experience.

Was it real? No.

Does virtual reality count? Uh … did you hear the part about flying?

Every animal on the planet can do real: perceive the world around them as it actually is. As far as we know, only humans can do real-ish: perceive the world around them as it actually isn’t.

Real-ish — it’s the basis of everything we are. Everything we’ve become since that long ago kid in a cave picked up a stick and drew in the dirt.

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Attitude

I’m not a fan of inspirational quotes. Way too rah, rah, cheerleader for me.

Truth be told, I find most of these tiny slices of wisdom annoying.

I read quotes like the ones below and think:

limit

“So … this is my fault?”

can do

“Right, like it’s that easy.”

choose

“You’ve heard of depression, right?”

I’m skeptical as to whether these facile bromides help anyone, but the Can Do This attitude they tout … to borrow from Martha Stewart, “It’s a good thing.”

As a writer, before you ever open a Word document some part of you has to believe I can do this. In my case, it was more like a maybe I can do this … baby steps 🙂

If  you tell yourself you can’t, you won’t.

Attitude is everything.

Aimer at Amazon

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Blog to the Rescue

I’m slow. Depressingly slow. Not when I’m sprinting for the nearest caramel latte, but as a writer — hair grows faster than I write.

Needless to say, I don’t plan anything out. Yeah, I know 🙂

Because I write about as fast as paint dries, my enthusiasm inevitably crashes and sitting down at my laptop becomes the last thing I want to do. I fall into the My Writing Sucks Blues and it’s not a pretty song.

It seems counterintuitive, but I’ve discovered that writing this blog makes me happier with and more excited about my WIP. It turns out, the more I write, the more I write 🙂

I’d been neglecting my blog for months because I thought I should be disciplined and mature and concentrate on my book. It seemed to me that any time taken for my blog was time taken away from my book.

But writing isn’t math, it’s not a plus or minus kind of thing. It’s more like biology, cells multiplying in a petri dish when you’re not looking.  The thought and energy I put into my blog generates more thought and energy for my WIP. Who knew?

Uh … everyone. What seemed like a revelation to me is actually a fairly common trick writers pass among themselves — when you’re stuck, write something else.

I may even have heard this advice before, but stubborn ass that I am, I had to discover the truth for myself 🙂

Blog Hero

I’d like to thank everyone who reads my posts. Your views, likes, and comments are the life preserver the little guy above throws to save me from the My Writing Sucks Blues 🙂

Aimer at Amazon

Censorship: A Time Honoured Tradition

The ancient Greeks appreciated the human body for the gift that it is. The body was both natural and holy, a concept that didn’t translate well to the Christian world in the dark times of the Middle Ages. A succession of Popes, starting with Pope Paul IV felt that while man was an expression of God’s creation, there was no need for that expression to be anatomically correct.

Welcome to a period of prolific art desecration, a centuries long brutal and clumsy attempt at censorship. Goodbye genitalia and hello fig leaves.

Still today, the line between art and pornography is a blurry, wavy thing dictated by taste and culture. While the ethics of depicting the phallus itself change with the tides of time, phallic images have managed to escape the scourge of the censor. They pop out everywhere, impulsive and indiscrete, and often amusing. Freud was particularly fond of them but that’s a whole other post.

With phallic images, it’s not so much what you see but what you think you see.

Phallic images, like the phallus they represent, come in all shapes, sizes, and flavours.

From traditional
penis tower

to whimsical
banana

to accidental.                                                                                                    penis cloudThe patriot in me got a giggle out of this one. See the flag in the corner there … Oh, Canada!

Personally, I’ve always found that the space ship, Andromeda Ascendant from the television show Andromeda
ship
bears more than a vague resemblance to parts unmentionable … or maybe that’s just me 🙂

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Google

Google is an amazing tool, everything you will ever need right there at the click of a mouse. Also everything you don’t need, will never need, and shouldn’t be wasting your time with.

Case in point: There are only so many ways to describe the human body in motion. In motion in private. In motion in private behind closed doors. Body parts in particular are a bit of a toil. If you don’t want to get into ridiculous euphemisms, and I don’t, you find yourself writing the same words over and over… and how exciting is that?

My solution is Google and its lovely gateway to synonym heaven. Google rarely fails me, but she does lead me astray. I wish I could blame Google, but the fault is mine. When faced with the siren call of her lovely connected links, I have no self-control. I wander in her never ending forest and lose myself.

It’s shameful, but I have been known to wander Google’s paths for hours. Hours spent researching a detail that I may or may not end up using in my book. What can I say? I’m a weak, weak person.

Google’s rather like the universe’s largest department store, you go in looking for one thing and come out with something else. Sometimes that something else is pretty damn funny …

penis waving

Aimer at Amazon

In Defense of Drivel

I read and write M/M Romance novels, what I call Bubble Bath books because — never mind. These books have zero angst and a happy ending. No child molestation, no sexual assault, no creepy serial killers; nothing that’s going to keep me up at night trying to erase an image I wish I’d never read.

No, they’re not literature. No, they won’t help me heal the ozone layer or tell me how to get that next promotion. No, they are not kernels of wisdom from the great minds of our time — and that’s the point. They are an escape from the aggravations of real life. They are a mini-vacation. They are an opportunity to turn my mind off. They keep me sane.

Is it a waste of time to sit in a hot tub, to get a massage, to go camping, or sit by a lake and torture poor unsuspecting fish? No? Oh, it’s relaxing… exactly.

It is not a waste of time to read drivel.

Gena Showalter, author of The Darkest Night, refers to romance novels as fairy tales for grown-ups.  Who needs Disney?  🙂

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Mistaken Identity

What’s in a name? Shakespeare notwithstanding, a whole hell of a lot.

Aimer Boyz is my pen name. It means To Love Boys. I thought it was a natural fit for someone who writes M/M romance, but I’m just now realizing as I write this that translated into English… it makes me sound like a pedophile. Crap. Crap. Crap.

Not only did I choose a rather questionable name,  but I compounded the error by deciding that a picture of two men kissing would be the perfect feature image for this blog. In my defense, I thought the picture said, “Hey, this is what I write.”

A picture, like any art form, speaks through the person who views it. While I thought the image of two men was a clear representation of my genre,  some visitors to my blog assumed it was a clear representation of me. Some were annoyed when they found out I was not who they thought I was.

I do not post my picture here, I do not use my real name. I’m not trying to deceive anyone, I merely want my words to stand on their own.

I apologize to anyone who might have felt duped. It was not my intention.

Tonight, I changed my feature image to something that is hopefully more innocuous. Obviously, I still have a lot to learn about blogging.

Please tell me I’m not the only one who’s screwed up 🙂

Aimer at Amazon

Are You in Your Books?

It’s inevitable. It’s not always a conscious act on the author’s part, but it’s always the end result. Bits and pieces of the author find their way into their characters. This character’s favourite ice cream,  that character’s  height, eye colour, sleeping habits, exercise routine. All the personality quirks that make a fictional person feel real? They work because they are stolen from a real person, usually the author.

This is as true on the larger scale as it is on the small. Is the space alien an atheist, does the vampire support transgender rights, does the fictional mom running car pool in suburbia support legalized euthanasia? The answer lies in the author’s own belief system, in the author’s concept of morality.

There are also times when an author can be seen through a character that expresses the exact opposite of the author’s own feelings and beliefs.

At the base of all fiction is a kernel of non-fiction and that kernel comes from the author. No matter how dystopian, futuristic, or paranormal the novel, it is that basis of real that makes it read as true. Bits and pieces of the author filtered through their characters make the book authentic.

Case in point: The fact I write about Vampires says something about me 🙂

Are you in your books?

Aimer at Amazon

Crazy

You know that promise you make to yourself? When you swear you will never do this  (behaviour of choice) again, ever? And then, of course, you do it again. Crazy, right?

Some time about the middle of my last book, I told myself never again. I sucked, no one was ever going to read my books anyway, why was I putting myself through this … you know the rant.

Done. Finished. Over.

A secondary character whispered to me. Wisps of scenes and conversations tantalized and teased and …  (insert faourite expletive here)!!!

Okay, not over. Not done.

I’m writing book two in a trilogy. Crazy? Yes.

I’ve gone crazy and I won’t be back anytime soon.

But this is it. This trilogy — which at the moment amounts to a whole 400 words followed by no freaking idea — and I’m done. Really 🙂

Aimer at Amazon

A Little Blood